Do you remember the first word you spoke?
Do you remember the first day at school?
Do you remember your first Jr. KG teacher’s name?
Do you remember the first girl you actually liked?
Do you remember the first time when you called your teacher ‘You look great’, when she actually just looked out of this place?
Do you remember all madeness that you did, just to make your current heart throbe ‘smile’ at you?
Don’t worry. This is not a test.I tell you – I remember each and every thing of what I just mentioned. However, I have compiled some observations of me and my friends found while while we were newcomers to hostel, afterall, I remember it vividely – (just happened a couple of months ago.)
TOP SIGNS OF A NEWCOMER TO (ANY) HOSTEL.
1. You restlessly look at the mobile and wish that at least someone will call you.
However, no one calls you, because Mom and Dad have told you that they will call you back, once they have reached ‘their’ home. So, you have got no other way of timepassing.
Your partner delibrately pesters you -“Are you feelin’ homesick?”
You say “No, just like that”, and try to show as if you have been in that hostel all your life! Feeling extremely bored and homesick, you start SMS’ing messages like “Wussup”, “How’s life, I am fine here” to your former friends. However, since thay are busy studying engineering and have no time to even recognize you, thay do not reply back to you. You feel that the world should come to an end. If it is night, trust me, you really feel this kinda heat. Man, thats aweful for anybody who has stayed in city for all his life, and suddenly he has to adjust to this situation.
2. Its dinner time. You are in a queue. Some guys rush ahead from behind you, but you do not know how to react. Still, you reach the table, sitting next to some what friendly looking blokes.
How do you know that they are newcomers?
Very Very Simple. They are not eating their food, instead, they also are waiting for someone to introduce themselves. You see, they have a mixture of curiosity, some fear, some shyness, some tension on their face. Same is with you!
3. You eat dudhi bhopla, a famous slang for a fatty girl, and of course the thing that you never ate in your home. In fact, you notice that dudhi bhopla tastes great!! You not even yell at the mess person – “What the hell is this s***. I cannot even look at it. Why don’t you close your mess?
But, nothing of this sort happens. You continue to eat the stuff, which you discovered ‘tastes great’!
Ha..Ha..Ha..Ha..Ha..! Pathetic and weak!!!
4. While chatting, you tell everyone the how your’s is a cool city, and your college is the most famous and biggest of all colleges, things that you never did, or ultracool things that you did – like giving a rose to a girl in front of prof, then
bravely facing the principal and emerging out of principals cabin, unharmed, unhurt and in one piece, or having a go at the prof with your ‘dearest’ friends. Mysteriously, the prof and the principle are very much afraid of your ‘group’
Now with experience, I can tell that 10 out of 10 times, this story is usually fake.
But, then, why spoil poor chap’s imagination?
5. Your room partner is listening to a****** mobile radio, esp those packed with Nokia series. You feel liking throwing that mobile in a dust bin, or better, murdar the room partner. But, silently, you try to sleep, resolving in mind – “Tommorow I will tell him to shut it off, so that I can sleep early, and get up early tommorrow!”.
This never happens, though.
6. My personal experience – Some guys took me as a gujrati and started speaking in their tongue twister language. Honestly, try it in Pune, and I promise, you wont talk the same to anyone. But, I said,”No, I am not a gujrati” – Newcomer, what else?
F*** half blooded gujrati and a*******, fa****/bro****/sonsucker from Karnataka side!!!!
7. You wake up at 6:15 when your college is at 9:30.
8. You forget the switch sequence of fan, tubelight, bulb.
9. You wish your every prof, or any grumpy looking person – “Good Morning, Sir”
10. You write your name on the door.Hardcore Newcomers write their names on walls, doors, toilet doors, mirrors and paint, decorate it and let the whole world take notice of it.
11. You share your khau with room partners.
12.You feel that waking up the canteen-wala at 2:30 AM for tea in night is a grave and extremely inhuman crime. Similarly, you do not understand that why does one need tea at 2:30.
13. You go to canteen or mess in group.(All are newcomers)
I havent arranged these situations in any particular way, nor the list is complete in any way.Still more hilarious and extremely funny situ’s are yet to be documented.
C ya till next time!