Dedicated to my lost love – Honey, I loved you immensely

Every time u call i freeze
When your close to me i feel a chilly breeze
I know something is not right
Could u b the one making me feel so tight

I didn’t use to like u
But now could it b true..
Am i falling in love with u?

So innocent, so sweet and surreal
Casting a swirling aura around us
Turquoise eyes drowning and drenched
Within the angelic love song

The hearts had met to one mystic soul
Wanted to feel this forever and ever
Never to cease and fade, never to wane
My love I always felt , would always
Last till the end of the time.

I agree that this short peom isent mine, I take no credits for it. I dont know who’s written it, but what matters is that its an apt example of whats going through my mind..Normally I dont speak mushy, but now I am letting it out in public.

Honey, listen to me, you may never know or understand  it, but if you  read this, I confess that I loved you more then anything else. True we may never meet, but if I could show you what true love was, then its this….My words are turning empty, but the feelings arent…Dear God, if you get time from you daily chores, can you please listen up a prayer I sent for her? Keep her happy. Just keep her happy, I know what pain is like, but I wish she remains happy. She retaught me the purpose of life.Those beautiful moments she passed with me make me feel heaven. I have no complaints with what happened, nor I care a damn about whats gonna take place, but the fact is, I am in deep love, I am rediscovering myself in a form previously unknown to me..

Gosh, these feelings….let the rain come down and wash away my tears, let it shatter the walls and drown my fears..I feel as if I had been kissed by an angel of Love..A new day …has come…..

To all those boozing hounds and enemies of Love and haters of God, non believers in Love – This post is not meant for you. Not at all for you. If you are the pathetic and immature souls whose concepts are fake as that of Maya, get a life..shoo away, you get it, just fly away..hide yourself into deepest dark oceans or infinite space..Go….!!!!

Disclaimer While the people I write about are real, the experiences I post here may or may not be real and related to people I know. Its just my thoughts I have spoken to myself. If anyone of you finds a co-incidence, then rejoice…maybe I have taken some inspiration from you..And honestly, I do not hate anyone in life, even if you have managed to break my heart, you know that I am a brave soul Maybe 10 years from now I look back and say – O boy, I was so mad, crazy at times, I dont know. We are all strong and weak at times. So dont mind anything, just read, enjoy and move on with life

Why! …

I was childish and unfair
To you, my only friend
I regret, but now it’s too late

I can’t show you anymore
The things I’ve learned from you
Cause life just took you away

And I’m asking why! …
And I’m asking why! …
Nobody gives an answer
I’m just asking why

But someday we’ll meet again
And I’ll ask you

And I’ll ask you why! …
Why it has to be like this
I’m asking you why
Please give me an answer

Many years and stupid fights
Till we accept to see
How it was and it’ll always be

Why it has to be like this
Why we don’t realize
Why we’re too blind to see the one
Who’s always on our side

And I’m asking why! …
And I’m asking why! …
Nobody gives an answer
I’m just asking why

Just tell me why! …
Why it has to be like this
That the good ones disappear
I’m asking you why

And I’m asking why! …
And I’m asking why! …
Nobody gives an answer
I’m just asking why

And I’m asking why! …

Random Mumblings after a sleepless night

I am staring at my Mug right now. I dont know what I am feeling, but its sure that its not a feel good thing. Looking at myself, I wonder – What makes me suffer so much? What makes me behave crazy at times? How come my instincts lie to me at times? Why do my trusted tricks fail at the worst moments? Why do I get same thoughts after spending a complete 10 hours sleepless night?

Wish I could scream and let the whole world know I am unhappy, I wish I could cry and announce my sadeness, at least let those emotions flow though my tears, but nothing happens. I am just looking at myself and thinking – From where do these emotions come? Why is my face emotionless? Where are my emotions? What happened to them? Have I lost my emotions due to these gadgets((mobil, wifi, broadband, satellite tv, internet, blogs, networks) around me? This 24 hours connected craze has drained me completely..on top of that, inspite surrounded by technology, people, I am lonely…as lonely as a single cloud on a bright sunny day. At least that cloud looks beautiful on a blue background, me me is in blues, in gloom. Still no emotions in sight..has the mirror lost his charm…or is he showing me a fadeout picture of my everlasting cast…Love is phasing…Love is moving to the rhythm of her sight…I get closer, to the crossing point of light…

I dont remember that I was awake or in half sleep, but I do remember a bright light when my eyes closed. A bright light. Reminding of fire..fire like that of desires…Desires never burn, Desires never end, Desires are never over..and surprisingly, Karma spares no one..All night I wished there could be darkness, a place I could hide, but this light kept on chasing me. Is this what people call enlightment?? And why do people get en lighted only when their heart is broken? Is my heart really broken? Is it my figment of imagination?? I know that this world is a cruel place, no importance to emotions, especially for some stupid one called as attraction, love, whatever..But then I see people around me in love, where am I in there?

I need to take a break. I wish to loose my senses for space and time…And I will…..

At the same time, its wrong to long for a thing that never belonged to you, no one gave me the right to peek in their private life. I am not on the right track, need to return on my rivers of beliefs…the original me. The strong Harshad Joshi. The one who was before knowing all this. The one who stood by his principals. The one who fought against all evils. The one who was firm on his grounds. The one who never compromised. The first one to fight and the last one to quit. Thats me. Thats me. I want my glory back. O Mohiniraj, give me my strenght…